12 September 2023 , 19:58
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We all have phobias and things we're afraid of. Some of us can't stand to be in the same room as a clown, while others can't stomach living in a block of flats because they feel queasy looking out of their window. Fear is a normal part of being human, and most of us are able to recognise and respect other people's fears too.
But one 27-year-old woman has been slated online after she got "annoyed" at her husband when he admitted his fear was stopping him from driving them to her cousin's wedding. The woman explained her partner, 33, has a fear of spiders, and was horrified when he spotted an arachnid in his car.
He called on his wife to remove the spider from his vehicle but she failed to catch it and it ran off. Her husband refused to get back into the car, as he couldn't be sure that the spider wouldn't make its way into his vision again while he was driving - which could have caused him to crash.
In a post on Reddit, she said: "My husband Mike is pretty afraid of spiders; I am not. This means I do all of the spider-wrangling in our relationship. Before leaving to pick up some fast food, Mike spotted a spider in his car. He came back inside and asked for my help to get rid of it. I tried my best, but the spider got away.
"After realising I didn't catch the spider, he made a remark about not driving to my cousin's wedding this weekend. I was really annoyed by this, the idea that a spider would prevent him from driving us to the wedding. I got a bit huffy and he got indignant at my lack of empathy. Now we're not talking."
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Commenters on the post were largely on her husband's side, with many it's impossible for him to simply stop being afraid of spiders, so the woman should be more supportive of him. However, they also pointed out she wasn't necessarily at fault for being annoyed at his fear.
One person said: "It sounds like your husband has a bit more than a silly irrational fear. We all have those little things that irk us or scare us, but the amount that impacts life is usually minimal. He may need some help," while another added: "Phobias aren't rational. They also aren't the fault of the person who has the phobia. They aren't anyone's fault. They are irritating to the person with the phobia and to their loved ones. It's just one of those things we accept and cope with when we love someone. He would not feel safe driving with a spider in the vehicle. It sounds like you may need to drive or go on a spider hunt."
The woman added in an edit to her post that her husband took the car to work the next morning, and argued that he didn't mind "crashing it on his own" instead of when his wife was in the vehicle with him. She has vowed to have another sweep for the missing spider and is hoping they can still travel for the wedding at the weekend.
She posted: "He took the car this morning to go to work after missing the bus. To quote him, 'I figured it would be better if I crashed it on my own than when driving with you and the dogs'. He also spent a significant amount of time searching for the spider throughout the morning and is hopeful it has moved along or was neutralised by my attempt to catch it. I will take another look when he gets home."