EastEnders' Brian Conley's life - depression, booze battle and storyline tears

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Inside Brian Conley
Inside Brian Conley's life away from the screen (Image: BBC/Jack Barnes)

EastEnders star Brian Conley has had a rocky life away from the soap from dealing with depression to drink battles and crying over his soap storyline.

The Thomas 'Rocky' Cotton star reportedly clashed with bosses on the BBC soap as he demanded to be let go from his role. In a shock move, the actor has stepped away from the soap after joining in 2021. He has reportedly insisted his character be written out as soon as possible, sparking concern the year-long Christmas plot may have been ruined. However, EastEnders have since confirmed "there is absolutely no truth in any claims of a feud with bosses".

Brian was completely overjoyed when he first took on the BBC soap role, having been brought to tears on his first day. The actor has enjoyed a long and illustrious career since bursting onto the stage at the dawn of the 1980s. He performed in a comedy band that supported The Nolans on tour and went on to build an impressive acting and presenting career. We take a look at his life away from the spotlight, as he has opened up about his depression and booze battles over the years.

EastEnders' Brian Conley's life - depression, booze battle and storyline tears eiqekiqkhiqddinvBrian has quit his EastEnders role (BBC/Jack Barnes)
EastEnders' Brian Conley's life - depression, booze battle and storyline tearsThe TV star opened up about his depression following his I'm A Celeb stint (PA)

Depression

During Brian's first stint at reality TV in the I’m A Celebrity jungle back in 2012, he made a prompt exit from the show which resulted in hospital treatment for “exhaustion and malnutrition”. Afterwards, he shared he had stopped taking anti-depressants, which he had been on for 15 years. He talked about his depression, triggered by the death of his beloved dad in 1998, which had led him to drink. Brian now uses techniques like mindfulness and breathing exercises instead of pills.

Ahead of his Strictly Come Dancing appearance in 2017, Brian explained to The Mirror: “To help me sleep and things like that, I do go through certain things I have learnt with mindfulness. Focussing on your body... it really is about breathing, staying in the moment. Anxiety is the future, depression is the past, happiness is right here, right now. If I wasn’t in a good place, I couldn’t do what I do now.” He lost 3lb through training eight-hour days with dancer Amy Dowden. He added: “I’ve never been in the gym, so I’ve never experienced happy endorphins from working hard – and now I’m getting lost in it."

EastEnders' Jake Wood's snap of son has fans pointing out the pair's likenessEastEnders' Jake Wood's snap of son has fans pointing out the pair's likeness

Booze battle

Along with his success came a drinking habit that took its toll. Speaking exclusively to The Mirror in 2015, Brian shared: "Drinking is so prevalent in our game. And I never saw the point in having a drink, only in getting drunk. At its height, I’d be drinking a bottle of wine and three Jim Beams a night. I was on stage one evening in 2003 and I just wasn’t there. I’d had a real bender the night before and I was stammering. I realised then I had to quit. I haven’t had an alcoholic drink in 11 years. It was the hardest but most rewarding thing I’ve ever done."

Brian saw a psychiatrist for a year as he tried to give up booze. "He was very wise, like Obi-Wan Kenobi," he laughed. "I remember saying, 'I’m going on holiday to Antigua and it’s all-inclusive, all the booze is free. When I come back I’ll stop.' And he said, 'Won’t there always be an Antigua?' So I went and didn’t drink. Although every time I went to the bar and ordered a coke, the barman shouted: 'But the rum is free, everything is free!'"

Storyline tears

The actor became emotional on the set of ­EastEnders after ­seeing a prop that reminded him of his taxi driver dad. Brian said he was in the Queen Vic when he saw something that brought back memories of his late dad Colin. The 59-year-old added: “I’m holding court, telling a few jokes, but I just look over and, I’m getting emotional now, on the shelf there is a little cab. And I just knew that was my dad, who was a cab driver. Of course, he’s gone, he went 20 years ago, but it was like, ‘You’ll be all right.’”

Brian's dad was a huge fan of the soap and became an even bigger fan during his last months battling bowel cancer. The actor also shared how grateful he was to join the show after all his theatre shows and tours dried up because of the pandemic. He said: “I appreciate there’s so many of my friends not in this position and I cannot tell you how lucky I am. That’s why, when I was on that Square the first time, I cried, as I appreciated how many other people would die to be here and would die to just be part of the business.”

Mia O'Hare

Brian Conley, EastEnders

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