26 August 2023 , 07:00
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Sam Fender has never shied away from discussing this life, fame and his mental health and is often praised for being so open.
The musician who this weekend headlines Reading and Leeds Festivals often shares his life through his music and has found himself with a legion of fans because of it. But away from the stage, Fender, 29, has been praised for being a positive role model for young men, as well as opening the discussion about mental health and toxic masculinity.
Head of his sets at Richfield Avenue in Reading and Bramham Park in Leeds, we take a look at his life.
Following the coronavirus pandemic, Sam released his second solo album, Seventeen Going Underm after his debut in 2019, Hypersonic Missiles hit the top of the charts. On the record, he documented his struggles with the pandemic, explaining that he received a letter from the NHS informing him to shield for 12 weeks.
Sam Fender has been praised for using his platform to discuss mental health and his struggles (WireImage)But prior to finding global fame, the singer-songwriter said he was "a little stoner" and had flunked out of his A-Level studies in his hometown of North Shields. Growing up, Sam and his mum, Shirley, were living in a flat with black mould on the walls. Discussing his experience with lockdown, Sam previously said that he handled it "horrendously" and didn't look after himself, saying while shielding he drank and over-ate which made him "miserable".
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However, his dad, Alan, he says struggled to show any emotion and was left worried that he'd taught Sam about toxic masculinity by not opening up about his feelings. But while he appears to be confident nowadays, this wasn't always the case and Sam says he was self-loathing himself after finding fame which led to him hating himself.
"I was dealing with abandonment issues, my folks split up when I was young and I lived with my dad, but then he and I stopped getting on," he told The Guardian, before adding that in school he was bullied for having long hair and being "sensitive". But despite not fighting back against his bullies, Fender recalls "snapping" when he reached his 20s and he started hitting walls to vent his frustration and anger.
Fender has spoken openly about his abandonment issues when his parents split (The Chronicle)His debut album included the track Dead Boys, which many fans have cited for helping them deal with suicidal feelings but for Sam, it has a much deeper meaning. In 2021, he said: "I lost a good friend to suicide last year, and I’m not going to lie to you – over lockdown, and even before, I was in that sort of place myself. I had moments where I was so low that I thought about it," before explaining that he never found himself trying it.
Speaking to NME about the song in 2018, he said: "I lost some friends very close to me because of that. This song came from that place, and I have been playing it to other people ever since. It's raised a conversation and I realised how much of a present issue it is. Everybody that I spoke to from all different parts of the country have all got a connection to someone they've lost."
He believes that "toxic masculinity" holds people back from speaking about their mental health due to archaic views on how men should carry themselves and have a strong persona. "I was told not to cry as a kid," he said, before adding: "It's that sort of backwards attitude, so when we feel bad we feel ashamed or we feel like embarrassed."
Sam has never shied away from discussing his mental health and has previously taken time off work in order to put himself first. Last year, he cancelled several performances after admitting to suffering from "burnout" while touring. At the time of his announcement, he said it would be "hypocritical" to continue working while not looking after himself.
The BRIT Award-winning singer song-songwriter has also opened up about his experiences with suicide (Getty Images)
Sam grew up in the North East and makes a point of tackling the injustices within society (Samir Hussein/WireImage)In a statement released in September 2022, Fender said: "It seems completely hypocritical of me to advocate discussion on mental health and write songs about it if I don’t take time to look after my own mental health. I've neglected myself for over a year now and haven't dealt with things that have deeply affected me.
"It's impossible to do this work on myself while on the road, and it's exhausting feigning happiness and wellness for the sake of business. My friends and colleagues have been worried about me for a while and it's not going to get better unless I take the time to do so." He later explained he was beyond grateful to his fans for understanding before adding: "Me and the boys are burnt out and we need this time."
Over the course of his career, Sam has also tackled the injustice within the socioeconomic scene and used his platform for the better. His working-class background has remained strong throughout his music, with millions relating to Seventeen Going Under. As a child, Sam has spoken about him and his mum falling on hard times when she was unable to work due to suffering from fibromyalgia and mental health issues.
Speaking about the record, Sam said: "To be honest, with this record, it wasn't actually a real aim to tackle social issues, it was just I'd done therapy for two years once I started getting famous. That, basically, opened up a whole can of worms with my upbringing. I just ended up writing about home a lot more, writing about my life, and writing about my mother. Them stories just have a social conscience in them, because it's talking about very, very normal things that happen to very normal people."
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In a chat with The Big Issue, Sam recalled his mum Shirley feeling "embarrassed" by her struggles but after his life completely changed, Sam has never strayed too far from the sidewalks and has a close partnership with his North East roots and those he grew up around. No longer on benefits, Sam said: "It's amazing, I love that."
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch.