09 August 2023 , 19:20
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I have hair! That’s quite the headline, isn’t it? OK, it’s not quite a ponytail, but there’s definite fuzz. Think seal pup. If I stroke my head, it feels like velvet.
You never can predict what cancer will throw at you, but this week, it’s a definite silver lining. Quite literally (yes, sadly the hair is white). I can’t really explain it. I can only think while the radiotherapy stripped my hair almost immediately, the type of chemo I’m having doesn’t cause hair loss – at least, not in my case.
I’m now preparing for my fourth cycle, but here I am with a halo of fluff. Sadly, it’s also made an appearance on my cheeks, so I may need to get the razor out. It’s hilarious really, but so welcome. People say ‘You look great without hair’. But I don’t. I look so much better with hair!
Meanwhile, the week has brought snakes as well as ladders. While my hair’s returning, I called Denise ‘Maureen’ the other day. She just looked at me. I said ‘You’re not called Maureen, are you?’. Muddling my sisters up isn’t a great sign. It’s obviously the cancer on my brain.
Linda show off tufts of hairDenise leaves four calendars around for me because I draw a blank on what day it is. It is like our mum’s Alzheimer’s. All this means my illness is never far away. I lay on the couch with Denise the other day to watch a movie and said: “I wish I wasn’t dying.” The sudden thought swept over me of losing all this. I couldn’t help saying it. She said “We will all have to die though”, and quietly, we moved on.
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My sisters have stepped right up to face this alongside me. While some friends have distanced themselves – I understand that – my family has been brilliant. My stepson’s wife and daughter came to visit at the weekend. Rain stopped plans, so we just went to the trampoline park and chatted as we watched the kids.
But they said they were here to see me, and it didn’t matter what we did. They’ve been fabulous, they’re visiting so much more. I love seeing them, but deep down you know why.