20 July 2023 , 15:09
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A campsite has come under fire for its incredibly stringent and extensive list of rules.
Heading out to the countryside to sleep beneath the canvas and soak up the clean air is a great way to unwind and get away from it all.
The promise of a rejuvenating and stress-free time ensconced in nature is arguably not being kept by one UK campsite, whose owners have very strong ideas about how their guests should act.
An extensive list of rules from an unnamed campsite was shared on social media by Keely Ball, who jokingly wrote: “This sounds a fun place to be.”
It warns campers that they face a fine, confiscation of goods or even being thrown off the campsite altogether if they violate the policies.
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The rules are extensive and very clear (VanLife-UK/Facebook)Those who witness any rule breakers are required to report them "immediately", with anyone found to have complained about the campsite on a reviewing website told they “will not be welcomed back”.
The list, which was shared to the VanLife - UK Facebook group, begins on a pleasant note, welcoming campers and saying “we are glad you are here”.
It is all down hill from there however, with seven strict rules that arguably become more and more unreasonable as the list goes on.
Although not against the law, drinking and smoking is only permitted in groups in which everyone is over the age of 18, meaning no relaxing glass of wine at the end of the day if your kids are in tow.
Any parents caught drinking or puffing on the campsite will be asked to leave, the list warns, before moving on to the topic of driving.
Although few would take issue with a request to drivers to keep it slow and be careful - given that people are sleeping on the floor and that there are likely young children about - the tone is not exactly magnanimous.
"See that little dial with numbers on your car dashboard? That is a wonderful little device called a 'speedometer' and it tells you how fast you are going," the rule begins. "Please be mindful to make sure that the little arm does not go beyond 10km at anytime in the loop."
Those caught going too quickly will be slapped with a financial penalty the first time, and being heaved off the site if they're judged to be a repeat offender.
Campers must abide by the rules or they'll be kicked out or fined (Getty Images/iStockphoto)While camp fires are allowed, they can only be sparked between 7pm and 10pm and must be no taller than 45cm – a very specific height that will be closely monitored.
“THIS MEANS 45CM, NOT 46CM!!!” the list storms, adding that all wood used must be bought from the campsite, or else you will “lose your campfire rights”.
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After 10pm, once all of the fires have been completely doused so that "no embers" are showing, "NOISE OF ANY KIND” is banned. If you need to communicate past this point, “quiet whispering is allowed and encouraged”. Those who find the lack of noise oppressing are allowed to use earphones, but only with permission of the campsite.
One of the most confounding rules is that there is a complete ban on charging devices anywhere on the campsite, including power banks. They will be taken away from you if you violate the rule.
Those not put off by the strident list and who manage to make it through the night without being thrown out must leave at 11am "shart" - presumably a typo.
If you are caught lingering for the shortest of times past this you face being fined around £4 for every minute extra they eek out of the site.
The list has proved to be a great talking point online, attracting a lot of criticism from those who usually like a bit of camping.
Dean Lowin wrote on Facebook: “I think prison has less rules!! Do I have to put my hand up if I need the toilet??”.
Another user added: “Doesn’t mention anything against organising an escape party to tunnel your way out under the barbed wire fence and gun towers…”
Do you think the rules are fair? Let us know in the comments below.