13 March 2023 , 14:02
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When he came out as gay in September through a private Facebook post, Zander Murray thought he was just opening himself up to a select few.
But six months later, the striker admits to being overwhelmed at the impact that his decision to live his life as his true self has had. At the time, Murray was playing Lowland League side Gala Fairydean Rovers, with his coming out making him Scotland's first openly gay senior footballer ever, following just a few months after Blackpool's Jake Daniels became the first openly gay UK footballer since Justin Fashanu.
Murray became an immediate role model for young LGBT+ footballers, something he himself did not have growing up. And he has pledged to empower that next generation as football becomes a more welcoming place for the LGBT+ community.
"Obviously it was a bit of a whirlwind at the beginning, trying to get to terms with the media craze and this new life as it were. Certainly you handle that a lot better as time goes on," Murray told Mirror Football.
"Personally, it's been nuts, absolutely nuts. I've done inputs with football academies and media to help inspire people. But I didn't realise that just being visible, being a role model, has really, really helped support people.
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"I've had people message me and send me letters and it's just being brave enough to be visible. I did underestimate at the beginning how powerful that can be. Obviously I never had anyone like that, there was Justin Fashanu, God bless him.
Murray became the first openly gay player in Scottish senior football when he came out six months ago"But other than him there was no-one really to look up to, to aspire to be and playing the game I love. I did a private Facebook post.
"I thought it was an easy way to tell the football community, my team-mates and that maybe in the lower leagues of Scottish football, it would help a few who have been struggling with their sexuality. I never expected it to go this crazy. But here we are."
Having scored seven goals in 19 games in the first-half of the season for Gala, Murray earned a January transfer move to Bonnyrigg Rose in Scottish League Two. It is a step up that he admits he was previously "terrified" of making, but one he is now thoroughly enjoying.
"You're not living that double life anymore, you're just being your true authentic self. I've said that so many times, but it's right. Being your true, authentic self is so powerful," Murray added.
"The league below, I was well-established and I've had offers over the years but was too scared, terrified because I was gay. I thought 'oh no what if someone sees me in the street and that goes back, how will they treat me'.
"That quickly went away when I was living as myself at Gala and I was like 'if an opportunity comes again, I'm going to take it'. I'm 31 now, there's not going to be many that come anymore so when it did, it's been brilliant.
"I certainly feel at home. January's always a difficult period to move to a club, you either hit the ground running or it's going to take a little bit of transition period. Performances have been good, I just need to get that first goal.
Murray will now host a documentary looking into homophobia in Scottish football"I love how more intense it is, more serious, more professional, bigger club. Not dissing Gala, but Bonnyrigg have got real good facilities and I'm loving being in that environment."
Murray is taking a close interest in how football in Scotland has changed since he came out six months ago. As part of that, he has teamed up with the BBC for a new documentary exploring what is being done to tackle homophobia in football.
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It is a subject that is unsurprisingly close to his heart. And he hopes that it can make a positive difference both among LGBT+ people and their families.
"I got to speak to people at all different levels. I got together with some really amazing people, some I know anyway through the collective, like (referee) Lloyd Wilson," Murray said.
"At the national level as well, speaking to the Scottish FA, which was great, speaking to fan groups, LGBT football teams, getting all different perspectives and opinions, looking at where we're at.
"Mainly, I just underestimated my journey, how many people I'm helping to empower, not just me but loads of us. There's going to be people out there still struggling, having a tough time and this could probably help them.
"This could empower them. I just knew how much I struggled being in that football academy set-up and if my story can translate onto your screen, I hope it helps. Not just them but I hope it maybe hits the homophobic father that's been really hard on his son or daughter.
"Maybe see that and think 'wait a minute there's a normal guy'. I just hope it translates onto the screen because I did put my heart and soul into it. I hope it can help them."
Murray is hoping to help keep Bonnyrigg Rose in Scottish League TwoThe programme comes at a time when the LGBT+ community is facing increasing difficulties and prejudice. But Murray has been left hopeful that football at least will continue its progress to become a more inclusive sport.
"We've got to a point now where there is respect from players, coaches, staff, that's pretty much there. It's just the fans we need to work on. The past year has been challenging for the LGBT+ community, we need to keep being reactive as well as proactive," he said.
"We need to keep fighting the fight. The list is endless of support networks and individuals as well who call it out, it's not just me, it's a collective. We need to call it out to hopefully get us to a point where it minimalises it.
"I want to empower younger players, I want to help them, and I want to help the game. And now being in the limelight, I feel I can definitely take that torch, I can be another pillar of the community. I'm so grateful to be in this position."
Zander Murray - OUT ON THE PITCH is available to watch now on BBC iPlayer