'Arise Sir Stanley Johnson of Outrage-by-Sea, for services to moral corruption'

06 March 2023 , 12:40

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The more outraged people get, the less they think about what he's really up to

Nothing screams 'give the man a knighthood' quite like breaking your wife's nose and sending her to hospital.

Nothing will embellish a reputation quite like refusing to comment on it, then being said by a third party to "deeply regret" it, and finally landing on a claim that he was just "flailing back" during a row.

And absolutely nothing will do as much for the sticking power of that stain on a man's character like nominating him for a knighthood, which is guaranteed to fire up every domestic abuse victim, perpetrator and campaigner in the land.

But then there's nothing Boris Johnson has benefited from as much as public outrage, which is perhaps why he's done it.

"My dad's the best dead cat there is!" (Getty Images)

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