Parenting expert warns against taking children's phones away as a punishment

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Parents can get frustrated when their kids spend too much time on devices (Image: Getty Images)
Parents can get frustrated when their kids spend too much time on devices (Image: Getty Images)

Smartphones, laptops, iPads and more can all prove sources of worry for parents, who might be concerned about what exactly their little ones are looking at on their screens.

But you might also be concerned about the amount of time your child is spending on these devices.

One solution could be to take away their phones and other gadgets and make them read a book, or go outside and play, but an expert has warned that doing so in anger could actually be a bad idea.

Child Psychologist Dr. Claire Halsey has explained why mums and dads should think twice about this form of punishment.

Speaking to The Mirror, she said: "It can be tempting to take away a child's device altogether as a way to manage excessive screen time, but this all-or-nothing approach generates a lot of conflict and doesn’t help them make positive choices about where and when to have screen time.

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Parenting expert warns against taking children's phones away as a punishmentDr. Claire Halsey shared her expert advice (Supplied)

"As adults, we struggle to put our phones down, and vowing not to use devices at all is soon overturned. Helping children learn to manage their screen time, and know when it’s not okay, will help them the most. Teaching by example is a great way to get this across.

"Of course, there are times when putting limits on screen time is appropriate. For example - to help your child focus on their homework, or to switch off before bed then set a rule to come off devices is helpful both to learning and sleep. Taking a device away for a short period (minutes rather than days) may be useful if a rule such as 'no device before bedtime' is broken."

The expert continued: "Banning or removing your child's device for a long period of time is difficult to maintain and doesn’t give you and your child the opportunity to work out when it's’ okay and when to turn it off.

"It may even backfire as children might not tell you when they've gone online or share if they've seen material that is harmful or frightening. Keeping open communication about what's seen online is vital in keeping children safe."

Parenting expert warns against taking children's phones away as a punishmentBe open and honest when talking to your kids about their screen time (Getty Images/Westend61)

Dr. Halsey went on to share some top tips for helping to reduce your child's screen time:

1. Help your child reduce their screen time before they go to sleep

Reduce the time your child spends looking at screens before bed by having a rule that devices are not taken into bedrooms, especially in the evening. Try and encourage your child to come off their device by playing a board game or watching a film together. If kids say they can’t sleep without music, you could try going old-school with a radio or CD player.

2. Set family limits and create screen-free zones

Agree on when you’re all committed to switching off. This is particularly important in instances where screentime would mean a lack of communication, such as during family meals and short car journeys. It's also great for your child to see you yourself being disciplined with your phone or device.

3. Negotiate access

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Whilst the focus should primarily be on getting children to put down their devices of their own accord, sometimes we need to give them some encouragement to understand they sometimes have to compromise. Doing some washing up or helping prepare dinner in return for screen time will mean banning the device or removing it doesn’t have to be the first option you resort to.

4. Look for opportunities to increase physical activity or do something as a family

Try and get out for a wintery walk, or if it's snowing, make the most of it by building a snowman or going sledging. A kick around in the park, or a game of hide and seek are all great ways to tire out overexcited children and encourage fresh air away from devices. Tell them how much you yourself valued that time together, away from your own laptop or phone.

5. Keep the conversation open and honest

Many people, regardless of age, feel the need to turn to screens for socialising, so we should be wary of this when we’re asking children to put their devices away. Cutting out this form of communication without a constructive conversation as to 'why', can lead to conflict within families. Instead, explain to them that a healthy mix of 'real life' interaction and online is important - and that we can get something from both.

Similarly, open conversation around using devices will also keep a channel open for your child to talk about any content they might see that is inappropriate. If they are nervous to tell you they have been online, they will be less comfortable coming to you with any concerns they might have about what they have been seeing.

Do you have a parenting story to share? We want to hear all about it. Email [email protected]

Courtney Pochin

Psychology, Parenting, Smartphones, Teenagers

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