18 February 2024 , 10:00
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A woman has dropped out of her brother's wedding day after hearing her parents would be "visibly upset" if she attended with her girlfriend of four years.
Deciding a wedding guest list is never easy and it can often cause riot between friends, family members, and any potential plus ones. But as the sister of the groom, you would expect yourself and your long-term partner to be top of the list.
However, one woman anonymously explained how her homophobic parents do not want her to bring her girlfriend to her brother's wedding - they will be "visibly upset" if she does. "My brother would rather appease them than support me," explained the upset woman.
Now, the 35-year-old, who says her brother and her parents are "deeply" religious", is refusing to turn up to the wedding at all following a lack of support from her family.
She took to Reddit to anonymously share: "I have been anxious about this situation for years and now I am finally facing it. I am tired of overextending myself for everyone else's comfort. I don't feel my presence is truly wanted there."
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She added: "My brother would rather appease them [the parents] than support me, his sister. He has met my girlfriend several times, but has also told me his religious beliefs don't support our relationship." The annoyed sibling also added that she believes her sister-in-law does not support her relationship.
The woman explained that during her whole relationship with her girlfriend, with whom she lives with, her parents "haven't even asked" for the name of her partner. They also have not spoken to her about their wedding concerns.
She explained: "The wedding is in six months and I have not told him [the groom]. I am emotionally drained and no longer feel like pushing for a conversation but am also anxious that it is looming and preparations are being made with no full understanding."
The sister said she has written a letter ready to send to her brother - detailing exactly why she does not feel welcome on his special day.
She added: "What makes it worse is that no one is prioritising the conversation we need to have so I can tell him that I cannot attend.
"I don't want my brother to be in the middle of this, and don't want to have our relationship destroyed because of this. But I also don't see how I can respect myself and attend this wedding."
The dilemma raked in a lot of reactions on Reddit. One person said: "Your family has a clear message for you: We do not accept who you are. If you want to spend time with us, please pretend to be someone else. Your parents are actually threatening to ruin the wedding if you show up with your girlfriend."
"I really hope you put some distance between yourself and your family, just for the sake of your own mental health," added another.
A third commented: "I think you're thinking is spot on: you've overextended yourself long enough and clearly none of them.
"You've are accepting or curious about your reality at all. A written letter to them sounds great. Stick to your truth & your boundaries moving forward. Life is short."
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If you have been affected by LGBTQ+ discrimination and need support, visit the LGBT Foundation website.
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