17 February 2024 , 21:49
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Superfan Milly Kirk grins widely as she cosies up to her idol James Arthur after revealing how he saved her life by helping her through a mental health crisis.
Singer-songwriter James knows all too well about struggling with anxiety and depression, writing the hit Suicide and movingly admitting a career low left him close to taking his life. So when waitress Milly reached out to him for support after struggling for many years, the star helped her find her way back from the lowest of lows.
And their bond was cemented earlier this month when James invited Milly, 19, to perform a duet on stage with him in Paris because he knew getting her to do something she loves – singing – would make her happy. Milly says: “James literally saved my life. I genuinely don’t think I would be around today if it wasn’t for him.”
The teenager has been a huge fan of James’s since he won The X Factor in 2012, when she was eight. She went to his concerts and meet-and-greet events from age 13 and she also runs an Instagram fanpage. But from about age 11, Milly had also suffered anxiety and depression, and in 2021 reached out to her hero for help.
She says: “I never thought he would reply, but I messaged him saying ‘Hi James, I’m feeling really down, I wondered if you could talk?’ He messaged back saying ‘Yeah, go on’ and then he let me rant about everything that I was feeling and basically made my feelings validated and made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”
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James Arthur helped fan Milly through a tough timeJames, 35, an ambassador for mental health charity SANE, has spoken about his own struggles with drugs, anxiety and depression. In 2016 he told how he’d considered killing himself after being dropped from Simon Cowell ’s record label. However, his fortunes have since been transformed and his fifth studio album Bitter Sweet Love reached No1 in the charts earlier this month. In his replies, the star told Milly he knew what she was going through.
Milly says: “One of the messages James sent me said, ‘I know exactly how you feel. You need to take some time for yourself to breathe and be mindful. Your mental health is the most important thing so if there’s too much going on you can always be honest with the people around you. ‘Take a moment to remember the things you’re grateful for, it might make your worries seem a little bit smaller. Create and sing – you know that will make you feel good’.
"James has been to hell and back so it made me feel better having someone understand how I feel. After that every time I met him he was always making sure I was OK and asking how things were. He is honestly the most down-to-earth person I’ve ever met.”
The pair have built up a strong rapport after meeting in person around 30 times at the nearly 100 gigs Milly has attended – and the pop star even sent her a get well soon video when she was ill last year. In January, she was chatting to him after a concert in Brussels when James asked her opinion on what he could do better in his gigs – and she cheekily replied: “You should get me up on the stage to sing!”
Milly, who has four James Arthur related tattoos, including an outline of his face, reveals: “He said ‘You wanna sing with me?’ and I was like ‘Yeah!’ He asked me what I wanted to sing and I said Just Us. He was like ‘OK, we’ll make it happen’.”
The pair performed on stage together
Their friendship has given her a confidence boostDespite James mentioning their future duet at a signing in London days later, Milly still doubted it would happen. But then his bodyguard approached her at the Paris concert and told her to get ready.
She says: “Then James came on the microphone and said, ‘I’m going to do something really special. I’ve got a fan at the front who has been a fan right from the start and she’s been going through a lot this last couple of years and has been really unwell and hadn’t been able to leave the house. I’ve promised her I would make this happen’.”
Milly, who had only previously performed in front of 100 people, says: “I got pulled over the barrier by his bodyguard. I looked at the crowd and everyone was shouting ‘I love you Milly!’ in French accents. It was amazing. It felt like I’d finally found light at the end of the tunnel and now I’m out of the tunnel.
“At the start of the song my voice wasn’t great because I was very nervous... but then mid-song I thought, ‘I need to let it go and just do it’, which I did. James’s face lit up. He gave me a massive hug afterwards and seemed really proud. It still doesn’t feel real.”
Milly, from Harlow, Essex, who has a boyfriend, Lewis Brown, 20, says the experience has given her a confidence boost and she now wants to sing in front of more audiences, admitting: “I’m on a high and I feel like this is my moment to make my dreams come true.”
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She adds: “I see James as my big brother. I really look up to him and I’m very thankful for everything he’s done for me. He’s always told me to sing because he said it would make me feel better doing something that I love. My family and my partner and everyone around me are so grateful to him because they know how much he saved me.
“I’ve also told James, ‘You need to remember what you’ve said to me’ and ‘Listen to your own advice – you’ve got out of it once, you can do it again’. He’s helped a lot of people through hard times and saved so many people’s lives by speaking to them through his music.”
Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected]