15 February 2024 , 11:14
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A woman has told of her 'devastation' at the hands of her emotionally abusive mother, who after ruining her childhood has set out to try and ruin her marriage, too. The 24-year-old said she had been with her husband for ten years, with the couple getting engaged the day before they found out they were pregnant with twin boys, now aged three.
However, while her own family life was a happy one, her meddling mother had been causing family problems from when she was young, leading to her father leaving and remarrying, due to her mother’s constant cheating and bullying.
She said: “The issues arose on my 16th birthday when I went to live with my dad due to the emotional abuse from my mother,” she said. “Things like my mother pushing for me to break up with my husband because she, in her own words 'wanted him' and 'he was the man for her not me' and because she said I was 'fat and ugly.”
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After initially opting for no contact with her mum, she decided to give her one more chance when she found out she was pregnant, so the twins could enjoy a relationship with their grandma. “I found out she had been to therapy and counselling and assured myself she had changed, to which, over time I believed she really had.”
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However her pregnancy was only the beginning of her ‘nightmare’ as at her baby shower, when she was seven months pregnant, she revealed that her mum had turned up declaring her love for her daughter’s husband, demanding he got her pregnant and they terminated their twin boys: “She said she deserved my life, and my children, rather than me. She even suggested if I didn't terminate she could adopt them and pretend she was the mother and play happy families with my partner.”
After initially refusing to see her mum again, only informing her that the boys were born healthy and happy, she confessed that they had since been busy ‘building trust’ for the last year: “Seeing the effort she put into changing, I started allowing her to come to the park with myself and family, which later progressed to things like lunches, soft plays, days out," she admitted.
However with the couple due to head overseas to get married, her mum dropped a ‘baby bombshell’ which left the couple truly 'blindsided': “My mother told everyone she had a surprise and announced she was pregnant, which came as a big shock, then she announced the father was my husband’s father, and that they were engaged.”
After revealing her hurt and anger to her mother, detailing the list of abuse she had suffered since she was young, the couple headed overseas to get married and spend time with their boys, heading home to find yet more drama on their doorstep: “My mother turned up protesting that we split and give our babies up for adoption or hand them over, as we are horrible and don't deserve our boys, as we will all be siblings and siblings shouldn't be having children. She said we are an incestuous family and she'll be ringing the police.”
After revealing the ongoing and abusive situation, she asked Reddit readers if they thought she was right to consider moving overseas with her husband’s work, so the family can ‘get away from the crazy train.’ Readers were quick to side with her, with one commenting: “I say cut all contact from her and your father-in-law forever, because your mother will never change and anyone who supports that is more or less just like her.” Another agreed, saying: “Move very far away and cut all them out of your life.”
Others offered words of advice: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time,” while one who had also experienced emotional abuse from their own mother said: “My mum faked cancer to try and end my marriage. I believe narcissists are capable of anything. If this is in any way true – run like your pants are on fire.”