10 January 2024 , 23:09
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When you’ve left the nation on the edge of its seat for almost a week – depending on whether they binged or somehow managed to be restrained – the stakes couldn’t really be higher.
The chances of anti-climax were huge. But yet again, The Traitors exceeded all expectations, with a pay-off that could not have been more perfect.
We left the Banishment vote equal between Brian and Ash, with just Anthony left to have his say. That he voted for Brian meant we saw the first ever case of an innocent Faithful no-one had even noticed was playing, let alone been suspicious of, being unable to stop blurting things out that made them seem like they were guilty and sealing their own ridiculous fate.
It also meant that Ash would get the chance to call out her fellow Traitors for betraying her so spectacularly (and quickly). CHEF'S KISS. “We’re going to have to have an awkward conversation later,” Paul told the camera, in totally the opposite tone to the one most people would use for that sentence, i.e. gleeful.
'Paul channelled his inner Holly Willoughby' (BBC)Once they were face to face – although Ash seemed to have melted, Wicked Witch of the West style since they last met, so not quite – Paul channelled his inner Holly Willoughby. “Are you ok?" he asked, just as genuinely as the original.
Phillip Schofield mocks Molly-Mae's baby name in cruel swipe at Love Island star
“I’m f***king p***ed off,” Ash replied. Harry spouted some old nonsense about how he’d only voted for her to throw other people off the scent, with the bonus unconvincing cherry of “I’m so happy you’re still here,” on top.
Claudia then came in and threw yet another spanner in the works – there would be no murder that night, instead they’d condemn four people to spend the day in the “cold, wet, unpleasant” dungeon, and murder one of them the following night. The Faithful would, however, be able to save one, so they had to choose carefully. They opted for Paul and Ash, as a double bluff, and Meg and Andrew.
After an amazing moment at breakfast - clairvoyant Tracey said, “Sometimes you wonder, am I sitting next to a Traitor?” to the person she was sitting next to: Miles, a Traitor - it was the mission. The winning team saved Andrew. And then suddenly it was squeaky bum time at the Round Table. Even more than usual.
As Claudia – stand out style moments: that roll neck! The red lip! That statement shoulder sparkly dress!) – had said, Traitors can’t murder Traitors. So if Meg was banished, which seemed a real possibility as a few people suspected her for looking too worried, Paul and Ash would both have to come down to breakfast the next morning, instantly outing themselves.
Zack accused Paul, which was nerve-wracking, but obviously Paul batted it off evil genius style with a wobbly-voiced mention of his kid and a bit of a fake cry, and then Harry went for Ash again, and Paul piled on. They double double crossed her! They quadruple crossed her!
“I need to think more ruthlessly here,” Ash said in her confessional, wising up far, far too late. Luckily it was a landslide, and she was banished. PHEW. But what would the cliffhanger be, seeing as it was nearly the end and obviously we all know she’s a Traitor? Ash opened her mouth to say just that, and the credits rolled. WHAAAAT?!!!
Welcome to the Traitors, where even a cliffhanger that doesn’t seem to be a cliffhanger is a cliffhanger. More! More! More!