06 January 2024 , 15:28
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An online coach has revealed three tricks people can do to charm anyone they speak to.
Confidence to some may come naturally, whereas others may struggle a little and online coach and influencer Hannah Chan swears by the three tips she uses to "charm anyone".
Hannah, who goes by the name @realhannahchan posts various videos on TikTok helping to empower women, and in her latest video, she admitted she wasn't born with charisma and was always a little "awkward" when younger. However, she now follows these certain rules to win people over and offered her viewers some tips on how to make the best "first impression".
"You're being judged every time you interact with someone, not by what you say but by how you say it," she explained. Her first tip was to use the "chameleon technique", something the most charismatic of people will do. This technique is where you will "change your approach" based on who you are speaking to. She further detailed: "'The first thing is called the chameleon technique. The most charismatic people all adapt their energy based on who they're talking to.
"So, if you're talking to someone who's super high energy and they're very animated, a lot of the time they feel like the other person isn't as invested in the conversation if they don't bounce that energy back. If you want to make that person feel seen and build a rapport with them, you want to increase your energy by 20 per cent to somewhat match their level."
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It has been found that people will use this technique unintentionally, and according to the Mail, people will "mimic" friends' body language and gestures, also known as "mirroring". Psychology Consultant & Life Coach, Bayu Prihandito warned it's important that people should make sure they don't lose their "authentic self" and make sure they are "empathetic and adaptive, not simply imitative."
The second rule Hannah follows is "inflection" and highlights that the way you talk will "tell on you". She explained that you will come across as lacking confidence if you speak in an "upward infliction". The tone or pitch of your voice will show a lot, and if your sentences tend to end in a higher pitch, it can sound like a question.
Hannah added: "One of the biggest giveaways you lack confidence in is speaking in an upward infliction which sounds like this, subconsciously, you're signalling and looking for validation - as if you're trying to ask a question to get approval from the other person.
"When you do the opposite and end your sentences in a downward infliction instead of an upward questioning tone, it doesn't matter if you're talking to the CEO of a company and you're the unpaid intern. It signals to the other person that you have certainty in your ideas and you stand by them."
Finally, the last rule Hannah follows is avoiding "inferior language". She urged people to avoid phrases such as "if you want to" or putting yourself down and saying "I'm not as good as you."
Hannah said: "You might think you're just being humble or agreeable but it actually comes across as insecure, like you're not comfortable with the fact that you could be good at something. If you think about all the reasons why you respect someone, it's actually not because they're super agreeable or overly humble. It's probably because they have this energy of certainty where they respect themselves enough to share their opinions if they know other people won't agree with them."
People valued Hannah's tips and flooded the comments with questions looking for advice. One TikToker commented: "As an introvert, it's so exhausting to match that hype energy! Any tips?" To which Hannah responded: "I'm an introvert so I get you! It's not about being someone you're not more so raise your own by 10-20 per cent."