26 December 2023 , 07:00
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A mother has taken to social media to ask if she was in the wrong after she had a public outburst at her husband in front of his family at Christmas. She explained she was at breaking point after months and months of him body shaming her post-partum body.
Explaining that she had had her son months ago, she revealed: “My husband started making indirect comments about my body. He never says any hurtful words but I find his 'observations' as he calls it hurtful.”
The first year after giving birth is famously hard on a woman’s body. Women tend to not feel themselves after the body changes in pregnancy and giving birth, and it’s notoriously hard to lose baby weight. There are also lots of hormone fluctuations, so most caring husbands understand this is a time to be supportive.
“For example, he'd see me wearing an old top and say "Oh that top used to look good on you but not anymore though.
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“Or when he looks at my waist and says "Wow, didn't know your waist could get this wide!” She said. She called his comments ‘passive’ and said she tried to ignore them. But described them as hurtful, “This went on for months and months and months!”
The new family spent Christmas at his family home and all was going well until her sister-in-law complimented a floral maxi dress that she was wearing at Christmas dinner.
“My husband said, "I agree it looks nice on you, though I have to admit that your waist could get smaller than this.” She explained that was met by an awkward silence at the dinner table. “I was absolutely fuming and this was my last straw. So I got up from my chair in the middle of dinner and shouted at the top of my lungs, "SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT MY BODY".
Her husband was left speechless, while his family stared blankly at the pair, “Others tried to get me to calm down but the situation got more tense and dinner ended up being cut short.” She said. “My husband stormed off to his friend's place to spend the night upon leaving a very nasty text saying I embarrassed him and made a scene over an "observation" he made.
“He called me childish and told me to get therapy for my insecurities instead of verbally abusing him and scaring his family.” She said. “Now I feel like an absolute idiot a** h*** and like I ruined Christmas for him and everybody with my over-sensitivity.” The upset woman took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong.
Most commenters agreed that his body shaming was unacceptable, and she was pushed to boiling point. One commenter warned her to be wary of her husband’s behavior, “This is not passive-aggressive and it is not an observation. It is degrading, humiliating and abusive. He's gaslighting you.
The fact the comment during Christmas dinner was met with awkward silence shows that people see he is being an a** h*** to you. He embarrassed himself and started the scene. You simply had enough of his b*** s*** and stood up for yourself. Good for you! Please save yourself and your child from this toxic relationship.”
Another poked fun at her husband’s shallow reasoning behind his ‘observations’, “So basically he’s telling you, he married you for your body and now it’s gone to pot cause you birthed him a baby? How’s his hair line? How’s his waist line?”
Another sided with her but advised a more productive way to express her upset, “Your husband is the one being verbally abusive. You could've handled the moment better, but we wouldn't call it "snapping" if we had control over ourselves and our emotions in the moment, would we?
“You need to have a serious discussion about how your husband has been speaking to you lately, about your body after growing a human.”
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