19 December 2023 , 11:00
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A mum was left livid after one of her sons wasn't invited to a birthday party following a toilet mishap. The 28-year-old woman explained how her son, five, had accidentally walked in on another mum while she was on a public toilet. Now, the boy has been excluded from his friend's upcoming birthday bash - yet his twin brother has been invited.
She wrote on a Reddit post at the start of December: "I have twin 5-year-old boys Jude and Jonah. They go to a private Jewish kindergarten where it’s very customary to invite the whole class to birthday parties, it might even be a school rule but I don’t think I’m going to take this to the school."
The mum went on to describe her children as well-mannered and reserved and have never experienced any "drama" before. She noted, however, that Jude is a slow reader to the point where he has a private tutor to help him.
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Recently Jude ended up in an awkward situation at his family's local synagogue. She said: "At our synagogue, the bathroom signs just say men and women with no little picture and they are single bathrooms. 2 weekends ago Jude walked into the women’s by accident and I guess the door wasn’t locked correctly because he walked in on this women named Jess who is the mother of a little girl in his class. He says he just saw her on the toilet and ran out, closed the door and said sorry."
Jude was said to be mortified over the incident but the mum he walked in on, Jess, insisted that he be punished. The post carried on: "Jess came up to talk to me after and told me like he needed to be punished, she said it was extremely inappropriate.
"I assured her he didn’t know and wouldn’t do it again but she said there’s “no way he can’t read men and women” and that her daughter can and told me I had to nip this behavior in the bud. I often feel talked down to because of my age by other parents at the school so I just said I would take care of it and left it there."
Since then, invitations were handed out to Jess's daughter's birthday party to everyone at school - apart from Jude. The girl's mum refuses to say why he has not been included, which left the boy in tears. His mum said: "Jude cried the whole rest of the day and wouldn’t tell anyone why because he doesn’t want to be a tattle tale. I asked Jude if anything else had happened between the 2 of them and he promised me it didn’t and said they’ve even been playing together at recess this whole last week. And her daughter was trying to cheer him up by suggesting ways to sneak him in."
She is now considering calling Jess to confront her over the uncomfortable situation and described her actions as "ridiculous". She finished: "I’m honestly livid, I wouldn’t care if she had given neither of them an invite but giving one twin and not the other is incredibly rude and passive-aggressive. I’m considering calling her and talking about it because I think it’s ridiculous to hold this much of a grudge against a 5-year-old."
At least 1,700 people weighed in on what she should do and many thought Jess was being out of order. One wrote: "I think the friend's mom is being overly dramatic & petty about the whole situation," while another agreed and said: "Walking into the wrong bathroom can even happen to adults who can read perfectly fine. And singling out one child like that is mean anyway."
However, one user recommended a touch of caution and tried to understand Jess's actions: "Please consider you will be in a community with this woman for years to come. You do not want to start drama now, that will spin into years worth of resentment and difficulties. Decline the invitation you have, and don’t engage with her in any other form if you can. She’s being mean-spirited towards a child because she’s embarrassed."
While the general advice was to not even bother calling Jess about her son. One said: "Seriously though do not call her, she obviously doesn't care that she is bullying a 5 year old," and another advised: "What would you want and expect to come out of your phone call?
"You know the answer to both. Just decline the invite for Jonah and go do something fun with the kids." A major question remained for some though as one person commented: "The real question is: why wasn’t the door locked?"