09 November 2023 , 16:06
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For most of us, when it comes to wedding faux pas, the list of things not to do is pretty obvious. Don’t wear white if you’re a woman, try not to start any fights, definitely don’t propose to your own partner, and wait until the cake has been cut before you eat it. The main underlying rule is: don’t take attention away from the bride and groom.
However, one man found himself in an awkward situation when his sister asked him not to wear his own wedding ring on her big day, and he politely declined her request. Unexpectedly causing a huge family fallout, he took to social media for feedback and was promptly told his rudeness had “hijacked” her wedding.
Explaining the situation the 27-year-old man revealed that his 29-year-old sister got married last week and that it was a beautiful day. He then added: “The dramatics were not quite as enjoyable.” Taking a moment to give some more background, he divulged that he is a bit rubbish when it comes to staying in touch with his family and friends, and can often go months without speaking to them properly.
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He went on: “It's never on purpose that I pull one of these disappearing acts, it's mostly out of habit. I've been fiercely independent for most of my life and I get easily caught up in whatever I'm doing at the time which makes it hard for me to remember to keep those not in my direct line of sight in the loop. My mother is the same way.”
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Commenting that he had been out of the country for the last eight months, he revealed that he had previously been in Ireland to see his best friend. He continued: “I was originally there to spend two weeks with my best friend who, thanks to the aforementioned one-track mindedness I possess, I had unfortunately grown apart from within recent years.
“Ours was a friendship that had started when we were 14 and was one of the most important relationships in my life for over a decade, and I wanted to put more effort into it so I didn't lose it. He was spending time overseas as to reconnect with his heritage since his father's passing, I was already traveling, and my stay obviously turned out to be a lot longer than two weeks.”
The man happily revealed that four months into their reconnection, the two best friends realised they were in love with each other and got married, adding: “It’s funny how life works out.”
However, this is where things get awkward. Despite having been married for four months, it was only two weeks before his sister’s wedding that the man sent out a mass email to close family letting them know that he and his husband were married. He wrote: “I wanted to assuage any possibility of us 'stealing any thunder' right from the get-go. My mom replied that she was hurt that she wasn't told sooner or allowed to be there, which I understood.”
On their arrival to the States for the wedding, the newly married couple were a bit nervous about how people would react and whether they would be upset with them for not saying something sooner. However, it quickly became apparent that the man’s mum was delighted to see her son so happy.
He went on: “Rehearsal dinner was on Friday, and that was where we all met up for the first time. My mom was overjoyed to see me and my partner and spent a large part of the night telling stories about how she had always predicted there was something different about my friendship with him compared to others I was close with in high school. It was a very sweet moment.”
Although, it soon transpired that not everyone was happy. The man explained: “At the end of the night, my sister pulled me aside and asked if we would not wear our wedding rings to her ceremony.
“I was confused, so I asked why. She said I was taking the attention off her and she was already bitter that I had 'hijacked' her rehearsal dinner. More family might take notice if I wore my ring tomorrow and cause a similar incident. I refused. Like I mentioned before, the ceremony was beautiful but she didn't speak to me for the rest of the weekend and we ended up leaving the reception early.”
After reading his post, many Redditers had opinions on the situation with the majority agreeing that although his sister was out of line for asking that of him, he had handled the whole thing very badly.
One person wrote: “Yes, you are the a**hole. Married for 4 months and let's a few know just before the wedding of his sister and still doesn't see any problem with his actions.”
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Someone else agreed, adding: “He's an a**hole because he couldn't be bothered to see her side. Taking the rings off wouldn't mean they were divorced. If he didn't want the attention--like he claims--he would've done it.”
But there were a few readers on his side. One person commented: “It's better to do it 2 weeks before than on the night but I imagine having to hide your relationship would be especially jarring for a gay couple who historically have been forced to do that for all the wrong reasons.”