07 October 2023 , 21:09
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The Wanted ’s Siva Kaneswaran needed therapy to help him cope with “shell shock” after his stint on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins.
The boyband star, 34, says the show got inside his head so much, he struggled with PTSD and aggression. And his behaviour had his fiancee Nareesha McCaffrey so worried that she was forced to intervene. Siva says: “I’m quite soft and gentle. Coming out of that, it was shell shock. I came away from the show and felt more full of life and brave, but there was also this aggression, proper aggression. I’d be full throttle at everything I did, and Nareesha was like, ‘OK, Siva, this is too much’. I just wasn’t me. I had to take myself to therapy. I was supported by SAS and also my therapist in America to ground me again and remind me of my qualities.”
Siva is now on tour with musical La Bamba! (Julian Hamilton/Sunday Mirror)The gruelling Channel 4 reality show sees ex-Special Forces operatives Mark “Billy” Billingham, Jason “Foxy” Fox, Rudy Reyes and Chris Oliver put celebs through a military training programme similar to the real SAS selection process. Participants in the current series – filmed in Vietnam – include ex-Health Secretary Matt Hancock, Pop Idol’s Gareth Gates, model Melinda Messenger and Towie star James Argent. Dancing on Ice semi-finalist Siva – who was nicknamed ‘Sensitive Siva’ when growing up in Dublin – says he had to become a different person to survive.
Siva on a demanding jungle trek (PA)He reveals: “In order to lift a 40kg box over your head and hold it on your shoulder for 40 minutes, you have to get to a certain mindset where you can push your body through physical pain for a long period of time. You have to get very aggressive so you come out and your brain is still set like that. It’s an extreme place. It gave me a whole new respect for soldiers and people with PTSD and made me realise that I’m not invincible. Even thinking about it gives me PTSD. I start shaking a bit and I can see Billy’s blue eyes staring into my soul.”
Feeling glum on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares WinsViewers will tomorrow night see the Glad You Came singer break down as he is tasked with writing a letter to his loved ones, imagining he will never see them again. The process triggered memories of his late bandmate Tom Parker, who died from brain cancer aged 33 last March. Siva believes Tom, who had kids Aurelia and Bodhi with widow Kelsey, is still watching over him.
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The star, who is currently touring the UK in musical La Bamba! based on the life of rock ’n’ roller Ritchie Valens – says: “He gives me so many signs it’s unreal. When we released Gold Forever, a charity release for Tom, the whole thing was about butterflies. For Tom’s funeral, I wanted to sing but when I came to it, I couldn’t. Then, lo and behold, I’m in [La Bamba!] and I’m singing at a funeral eight shows a week and the whole theme of this show is butterflies. This is him saying, ‘You should have sung at my funeral. This is what you get, you n*bhead’.”
Siva Kaneswaran and fiancee Nareesha McCaffery (Getty Images)
Siva Kaneswaran said the show got inside his head (Getty Images for BAUER)The Wanted – also comprising Max George, Jay McGuiness and Nathan Sykes – formed in 2009 and reached No.1 with their debut single All Time Low. They split in 2014 and reunited in 2021 for a greatest hits tour with Tom. Recalling those final days together, Siva says: “We had to sometimes be carers for Tom, because his carers would have to take a break on tour.
“We were helping him with his food, escorting him around, sometimes bringing him on stage… normal carer duties, and being there emotionally for him. It was a privilege and an honour.” However, one moment he doesn’t look back on so fondly is when Tom cheekily gave him some cannabis resin that he was using to help with pain management. Siva says he reacted so badly to the substance that he couldn’t stand and was awake all night. When I saw Tom the next day, he was, like, ‘Good, right?’ I said, ‘No, it was horrible!’ He said, ‘Yeah, it took me two weeks to get to that level of what I gave you! Brilliant!’ He’s a little sh*t, isn’t he?”
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins airs on Channel 4 on Sunday night at 9pm