26 September 2023 , 15:47
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A disabled trans, non-binary couple has been raising $4,000 (£3,290) to escape Utah after it became "an extremely unsafe environment" for them, one of their relatives has said.
Claude and Jones - psudeonyms used to protect their identies - have been together since 2020, but in recent months they have been experiencing problems with their own families, as well as the larger community, where they do not feel accepted. Claude, 21, is white, and Jones, 19, is first-generation Indian-American. They both identify as trans/non-binary and have multiple disabilities.
According to the GoFundMe page created for the couple, Claude's parents have been more supportive than most parents of LGBTQIA+ youth in Utah, but Jones has experienced "escalating physical, emotional, and financial abuse from their parent" as well as "forced estrangement from their extended family and Desi community". This has encouraged the couple to decide to relocate to Vermont, where the LGBTQIA+ communities are more close-knit and support each other, the fundraiser says.
Growing up, Claude experienced a series of physical and mental health concerns including chronic fatigue, food and chemical allergies, autism spectrum disorder, Ehlers Danlos and gastroparesis. They were able to access medical care through their father's insurance, but experienced "serious ableism and judgement" from their parents who did not understand their illnesses.
Jones was raised by a white father and Indian-American mother, but was not involved with the Desi community until recently, when they recently started attending temple, volunteering, playing Hindu music and participating in cultural and religious rituals. Jones also has a series of conditions including chronic bone and muscle pain and ADHD.
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The fundraiser claims that Jones also experienced ableism as their parents were "dismissing" any complaints of symptoms of illnesses and allegedly denying treatment "for conditions they refuse to acknowledge". The post on GoFundMe says: "Their father in particular would make frequent cruel comments whenever Jones would do or say anything perceived as 'different', calling them names and mocking them. Their parents continue to withhold medical care, including needed medications and appointments with therapists and doctors."
Due to the issues at home, Jones moved in with Claude - who was living with their dad - about two years ago. Having taken some distance, Jones also decided to come out as trans/non-binary, but their attempts were "ignored/denied" by their parents, the fundraiser says.
About four months ago, the couple's living conditions became "unsafe", according to the GoFundMe post. It is alleged that they had experienced "financial and emotional abuse, as well as racist, ableist, and transphobic micro-aggressions happening for some time", but decided to leave when physical violence was threatened.
Claude then moved in with their mother, but since her home is small, Jones tried to live with their own parents again, as they had originally promised to try and understand what it means to be transgender. However, since Jones went back home, they have been experiencing abusive behaviour, with their parents monitoring their movements, tracking their phone and dictating which friends they could spend time with and when.
The post says: "These behaviors included transphobia, mocking and/or becoming angry when or if Jones dresses as/appears to be/expresses who they are; insistence that they detransition/stop being who they are; accusations that they are not being true to their heritage, that they were 'less Indian' because they are gay; insisting they need to be 'fixed,' that they are 'unhealthy,' that they 'need to pray more,' and that they have 'lost their way.' They have also called Jones a 'monkey,' and mocked their appearance many times."
Towards the end of August, Jones' parents allegedly went to their room and locked themselves in, restraining them physically from leaving. And when Jones told them they did not want them in their bedroom, their parents allegedly replied: "Consent doesn't matter!"
According to the fundraiser, Jones' parents are convinced that public schools have pushed LGBTQIA+ "propaganda" grooming youth to become convinced they are gay when they actually are not. They also believe that Jones' friends and Claude have groomed them to believe they are trans/non-binary. It is also alleged that they think Claude's mother and stepfather have created a "transgender sex cult".
Due to the abuse suffered, Jones decided to move back in with Claude even if their mother's apartment was small. However, the couple were allegedly tracked down by Jones' parents and broke into their home to confront Claude's mother.
Jones' parents were then told to leave by Claude's mother, but the pair live in fear as they know where they are staying. The GoFundMe post adds that Jones has also been denied access to a vehicle, phone, and medical care by their parents, which has made it difficult for them to find employment.
Claude has also had issues staying in school or finding employment due to their health issues - but they have recently undergone surgery that has improved their chronic pain. The couple no longer feel safe in Utah and want to start a new life in Vermont, as the state is considered more accepting of queer people and transgender rights.
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The fundraiser adds: "Since Jones' parents have made it clear that they will go to great lengths to find and harass them, it is no longer safe for them to be connected to them financially or in any other way, or even to continue living in a place where they can be 'tracked down'"
"Two final reasons why Claude and Jones are planning to relocate to Vermont: the strong and close LGBTQIA+ and AAPI/Desi communities. The Desi community in Utah is extremely conservative, making it uncomfortable/unsafe for Jones to participate in their cultural and religious traditions, or to build relationships and connections with others who could understand and relate to their experiences as a first-generation Indian-American. Because their mother has been spreading the conspiracies and rumors above, they are no longer welcome in temples and other spaces where family and friends worship and celebrate together.
"The LGBTQIA+ community in Utah is also very white and cis-centered ... there are few spaces where trans, non-binary, and queer people of color are truly welcome. Because Vermont is such a rural state, the LGBTQIA+ communities here are, in comparison, much more close-knit, supporting each other in any way they can, because they understand how isolating it can be to live in places where it isn't accepted to be queer. Truly genuine expressions of mutual aid and community care are found here in Vermont, where they are extremely hard to find in Utah."
A message posted on behalf of Claude and Jones reads: "We are so thankful that you have taken the time to read our story and for any financial contributions made to our moving fund. We will continue to update everyone on the situation as it changes, and to find academic/employment options before our move!"
The pair have so far raised $2,905 (£2,390). If you wish to help Claude and Jones with a donation, you can click here.