Trinny Woodall has said she still doesn’t know why her ex-husband committed suicide almost nine years on from his death.
The TV presenter was divorced from Johnny Elichaoff when he tragically died in November 2014 at the age of 55 after jumping from a shopping centre roof in Bayswater, west London. Despite their split, the former couple, who share 19-year-old daughter Lyla, remained close and would still speak on the phone every day.
As Lyla was only 11 when she lost her father, Trinny revealed she didn’t get to grieve for her former husband at the time. And it wasn’t until six months ago when Lyla left home and she was on her own again that what happened to Johnny really hit her. Opening up on her grief on the Diary of a CEO with Steven Barlett podcast, the 59-year-old TV star turned beauty entrepreneur said she couldn’t understand why Johnny, who also had a son Zak from another relationship, thought his children would be better off without him.
She shared: "What is staggering is Johnny had hypervigilance around his children because he had been in the Israeli army and he was a paramedic. And he had post-traumatic stress disorder, which wasn’t diagnosed until about 20 years later.
"But he was also so worried for their [his children’s] welfare. So you have this thing of, where do you get to in your brain when you are so worried about your children that you convince yourself the best thing for your children – who you love profoundly – is that you’re not in their life anymore. And that is something that is so important that we can help people who get to that situation – that they don’t get to that final part of that situation. It’s understanding to recognise, and it’s very hard to recognise. I didn’t recognise."
Trinny and Susannah's painful 'divorce' after humiliating fail sparked riftTrinny, who shot to fame with pal Susannah Constantine on TV show What Not to Wear and still presents fashion segments on ITV’s This Morning, said she had constantly asked herself if there was anything she could have done to stop Johnny’s suicide.
In the years leading up to his death he had reportedly made some bad investments, had an addiction to painkillers after a motorbike accident and been sectioned. Looking back now, Trinny revealed she didn’t understand how bad things were for Johnny, who she divorced from in 2009, at the time. She said: "Every person who has had somebody commit suicide will at some stage ask themselves, ‘Was there anything I could have done to stop it?’ But once someone decides that is what they are going to do, they don't talk about it.
"It's the harshest lesson to learn – you now pick up on people not saying things, there's a lot of internalising things. And you should you be reaching out and just talking and getting them to talk. Because people get themselves to a stage where they feel it's the only solution.
"There were lots of details about it which could have really upset me – things that were done wrong. But you have to let go. You need to work through these stages and not get stuck in something which eats you up."
Former drug addict Trinny, who was left with debts after Johnny passed away and had to sell her house, has since turned her own life around. As well as her TV appearances and huge following on social media, her beauty business Trinny London – which she started at the age of 53 – is thought to be worth £180 million now.
Opening up on the ‘mess’ she had to deal with after Johnny’s death, she continued: "It took me a long time to grieve because he left a mess when he did which I had to kind of deal with... you go on to auto pilot.
"Oddly I moved house in March, Lyla went away and it was the first time in 35 years I’d been on my own in the house. And I grieved for Johnny all those years later... it was the first time I'd really let myself feel. "
Trinny went on to have a 10-year relationship with Nigella Lawson’s ex, advertising tycoon Charles Saatchi, 80. But the pair recently and Trinny admitted that as well as not being happy she found the age gap difficult.
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