Man under fire as he 'can't bring himself' to help with kids as he's 'exhausted'
A man has been slammed after saying that he didn't want to help out with two of his children because he'd "always been vocal about not wanting more than two kids", and therefore didn't understand why he should help with his one-year-old twins. He explained that his wife wanted a "bigger family" after they'd had a boy and a girl, but he wasn't keen - but they ended up conceiving again afterward.
He tried to defend himself by saying he'd told her that more children would be "financially unsustainable" as he has "two jobs" and is "barely making ends meet", and is "exhausted all the time" - so as a result, he didn't want to look after the latest additions to his family.
He took to Reddit's 'Am I the a**hole' forum to ask whether he was in the wrong for feeling the way he did. He wrote: "We have four kids together in total ages six, four, one, and one. For context, I have always been vocal about not wanting more than two kids. Our first born is a boy and the second born is a girl, so I was happy to have one of each. I am the sole breadwinner as daycare costs would not make it worth it for her to work as well.
"After our second child, I told her I was done and wanted to have a vasectomy, she was against that and wanted to have a third. We fought about this for months (I didn't want to get it done against her will), her reason for wanting another was that she always wanted a bigger family. My reason against was that I felt that she had a hard time keeping up with daily tasks with only two kids, I also spoke to her at length about how another child would be financially unsustainable since I have two jobs and am barely making ends meet (not to mention that I too am exhausted all the time)."
But before they could agree on a solution, "she fell pregnant", despite the fact she was on the pill and "barely ever missed a day." He continued: "We now have a total of four beautiful children that I love, but I can not bring myself to give her the extra help for the twins. We now are stressed and fight all the time. I sometimes want to help her with the twins but it gets me so discouraged to see everything I warned her against come to pass.
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"I know they are my children too, but it is not fair to get yourself in a situation when everyone is advising you against it...then ask for help when the s**t hits the fan. Now when I come home from work, I help just as much as I used to with our first two children, nothing more nothing less. Am I the a**hole for refusing to help my wife with the twins?"
In the comments, people pointed out that they're his kids, so he should also want to take care of them. They wrote: "These children are yours and your responsibility now." Others were baffled at ho he thought that was acceptable, commenting: "He is openly admitting to neglecting his children. He 'helps with' (takes care of) the older two and not the younger two. People seem to be treating these kids like they're inanimate responsibilities and not sentient people. These poor twins are going to grow up wondering, 'why does daddy play with our brother and sister but not us?'"
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