Dad's turmoil as wife battling cancer forces child to shave head in solidarity

01 September 2023 , 10:14

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A man is upset his wife forced their daughter to shave her head (stock image) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A man has been going through heartbreak after finding out his wife has cancer. Adding to his devastation is the fact that his wife forced their daughter to shave her head in solidarity, even though she didn't want to do so. Posting to a forum online, he explained that his wife told him that one of the things she's struggling with most is losing her hair. While she's been given a near 100% chance of survival as they caught the cancer early, the chemotherapy has destroyed her hair. This meant she had to shave what was left of it off a few weeks ago.

"She suggested we attempt to get our 17-year-old daughter, Anna, to do so as well. Anna has very long hair that she puts a lot of care into so I felt it was appropriate to ask her in private if she wanted to/would be willing to do such a thing. She told me that she didn’t want to cut her hair and I figured that was the end of that," he explained. However, when the pair came home from a shopping trip recently, Anna had a buzzed haircut. Her father thought it was odd so after dinner he talked to her about it. "She told me that my wife had said she would never forgive Anna if she didn't show her support by buzzing her head. I asked her if she was happy about it and she said that she wasn't."

When he went to bed that night he brought it up with his wife, who said she gave their daughter a choice but explained how she would see the situation. Livid with his wife, the man said it was important to respect Anna's personal choices. He tried to explain that a 17-year-old girl being against shaving her head wasn't out of the ordinary. However, his wife simply said it was to show support for her. "I've been sleeping on the couch since. I love my wife, and I understand that she's going through something traumatic, however, her attitude comes off as very manipulative to me, and that's not behaviour I feel I can personally accept. I'm not sure if I can move past this to continue the relationship," he concluded in the AITA (Am I the A**hole) thread on Reddit.

People overwhelming came to his support in the comments, with many saying it was his wife who was in the wrong. Some even offered advice, with some going as far as to say he should divorce his wife. "NTA (not the a**hole)! Your wife is a flaming a**hole! I'm sorry that she has cancer, but what she did to your daughter was very abusive! If she is unable to deal mentally with her disease and treatment, then she needs professional help, not to manipulate and coerce your daughter into making a choice that she didn't want to make." Another wrote: "Honestly, cancer or no cancer, if I were in your shoes, I would seriously be considering divorce, if only to get your daughter to safety."

People's thoughts and opinions didn't end there, as another said: "Your wife wanted to use your daughter as a prop to her cancer. She knows she's going to survive (presumably) but she wants the attention she will get from it. Forcing your daughter to sacrifice something that is probably very memorable about her so people can gush about it is her way of getting more attention." A fourth added: "I hope your daughter moves out when she can. Your wife was so manipulative. She was absolutely horrible. Stand by your daughter. Maybe get your wife into a support group. She sounds like she needs it desperately."