10 August 2023 , 22:27
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The least surprising television news of the summer arrived last week with Ofcom’s annual report into viewing habits.
At first glance it would appear the BBC and the other terrestrial channels are on their last legs on account of hardly anyone watching them any more. That’s not strictly true, of course. The Defund The BBC mob is going to have to carry on with the wailing and gnashing for a good few years yet. However, the timing of the report could not have been worse.
For we are currently marooned in the summer TV wilderness, where our only hope of escape is to follow the streams. It’s no coincidence that the best four shows right now are all non-terrestrial: Winning Time: The Rise Of The Lakers Dynasty (Sky Atlantic), Only Murders In The Building (Disney+), Good Omens (Amazon Prime Video) and series 2 of Nicola Walker’s kooky detective drama Annika (Alibi).
Meanwhile, back in sleepy hollow, the two biggest terrestrial launches this week told us much of what is wrong with the old guard. Channel 4 brought us Alone, which is essentially the same as every other reality survival show you’ve ever watched – only with the added jeopardy of wild bears that could, apparently, steam in and gobble up the whingeing, self-centred, entitled contestants at any minute. (NOTE. Yes, I am already rooting for the bears.)
New Channel 4 reality show Alone (Channel 4)BBC2’s latest offering was even less inspiring/original. To say Ultimate Wedding Planners is like someone has plucked a discarded task from The Apprentice out of a skip and tried to stretch it to six one-hour episodes would be to give it far more credit for creativity than it deserves.
The humourless and drama-free first episode was a real dog’s (wedding) breakfast of a TV show that made me want to wave my TV licence at the BBC and give it the full father-of-the-bride speech: “I’m bloody paying for all this!” The entire enterprise was best summed up by Head Planner Yasmin’s advice for her fellow gluestick-botherer Tash: “All we can do now is the best with what we’ve got.”
That’s terrestrial TV from June to September in a nutshell, Yas.