31 July 2023 , 16:33
1017
0
Will.i.am has opened up about his struggles during "the hardest path of my life."
The rapper appeared on Steven Bartlett's podcast, The Diary of a CEO, on Monday, and the host brought up the Black Eyed Peas song, Be Nice, telling Will.i.am: "You wrote that song because it helped you to change your vibration but also to help other people change their vibrations.
"Men, but particularly black men, we don't always talk about our mental health," Steven added. "I thought it was wonderful that you've made a song about that and you were speaking so openly about that."
Will.i.am slightly stuttered as he started talking about "the hardest path of my life" which he dated back to when he was 18 years old in 1993. The musician specified that: "March 'til about August was a very turbulent time for me." He described that time of his life as his "coming of age."
Will.i.am spoke about the hardest part of his life when he was 18 years old. (REX/Shutterstock)He went on to describe that he felt "distortion" during that time, something he "never felt before." He also said his vibrations were "off" leading him to feel panic, angst, and hyperactivity. When the podcast host asked about what might have caused his "distortion," Will.i.am was quick to answer: "weed."
Heidi Klum pays tribute to her lookalike mum as they celebrate Mother's Day
Steven asked his podcast guest to go deeper into why he felt shame and guilt about this, and the rapper said: "I was shameful because I did something that I knew hurt my mom." And that thing was smoke weed.
Will.i.am described himself as an emotional person (Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock)
The musician embraces his femininity and cites his mother as one of his biggest influences (SYSPEO/SIPA/REX/Shutterstock)"I saw her panic, I felt her panic," Will.i.am said. When asked about when he feels this "distortion," he said he feels it most when he lets people down.
Being open about his feelings, Will.i.am said: "There's nothing wrong with being emotional. I'm the guy in the elevator that talks to strangers," he said, "I don't ever want to ignore folks that I could shed light on or they could shed light on me. you never know what little nuggets that you give or receive."
While also on the podcast, Will.i.am spoke about how during that time of his life, in the 90s, there wasn't as much acceptance of LGBTQ+ people, and Will.i.am said he was constantly asked if he was gay due to his feminine tendencies.
"I have no shame of being super feminine," he said, "I sit the way I sit, I act the way I act, my mannerisms are my mom's." The rapper was raised by his mother in Los Angeles, and has never met his father. His mother seems to have a strong influence on his life, and he's proud to be a bit feminine, saying: "I think its a superpower."