20 July 2023 , 20:36
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If it’s any consolation to Channel 5, I could kind of see the thinking behind its new Crimewatch-meets-For The Love Of Dogs enterprise, Lost Dogs: Live.
Half the country loves dogs, right? Doggie shows often pull in decent ratings. And Clare Balding is big in doggie land thanks to Crufts.
Plus, there’s a gap in the market now that Paul O’Grady has left us (but, whatever you do, don’t say that bit out loud).
Unfortunately, Channel 5 appeared to neglect one small detail: What if, on the night, Clare and her team don’t actually track down any of the missing dogs that are featured on the show?
Admittedly, that was always going to be a long shot – and with a bit of luck, one or two of the poor pooches may have been located in time for next week.
Furious chimp launches bottle at girl filming him leaving her bleeding at zoo
Bruce Forsyth's daughter Debbie (ITV)However, it did render the live aspect of the programme rather pointless – not to mention expensive.
It also meant that in the absence of any live sightings, Clare had an awful lot of time to fill.
There was some live feedback but it wasn’t from anyone who’d seen any of the missing dogs.
In other words, the only leads Clare saw all night were the ones attached to the dogs in the studio.
Instead, it was just viewers messaging to say they’d lost their dogs in the past, or to thank Channel 5 for raising awareness of dog theft.
In between, we were treated to a range of expert interviews, many of which seemed to focus on how to guard against losing your dog in the first place – which I thought was a bit harsh on the people who had lost theirs.
The most random piece of filler, though, was a chat with Bruce Forsyth’s daughter Debbie, pictured below left, whose two dogs were stolen in 2006. The most shocking thing about her story was her pooches ended up being sold on by the thieves.
So her dad was clearly wrong when he used to say: “You don’t get anything for a pair.”
NB. Debbie’s dogs were eventually returned to her, so please don’t complain about that awful Brucie joke.