11 May 2023 , 16:08
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Dear Coleen,
I’m a woman in my 20s and I moved into a flat a few months ago with another girl who I didn’t know that well. We’d always got along, though, and it was lucky we were both looking for a place at the same time.
My problem is, I hate the way she behaves around my boyfriend, but it feels really awkward to bring it up with her.
When she first met him I was pleased they got along as I thought it would make things easier when he stayed over. But she shows way too much interest in him.
She’s always asking when he’s next coming to visit and, when he’s there, she flirts really heavily and wears skimpy outfits. One day she even came out of her bedroom in a thong and bra, and paraded around the flat.
Dad furious after boy, 6, orders over $1,000 of takeaways while his mum is out
My boyfriend has never said anything, although he did look embarrassed when she was prancing around the place in her underwear.
I’ve never been in this situation before and don’t know what to do about it.
I don’t want to fall out with her or make her angry so she moves out and I’m left to pay the rent on my own.
Please help!
Coleen says
Well, some people have no inhibitions (I know a few people like that), but I’d say they’re in the minority and of course I understand why this makes you feel awkward when your boyfriend is around.
I’d just say that while you admire her confidence, you feel it’s inappropriate when other people are there, including your boyfriend, and it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. You don’t have to be mean about it and could even have a laugh about it: “You look great and I feel like a bit of a prude, but please put a robe on!”
If she’s offended and wants to move out then you’ll find another flatmate.
I’m pretty sure she’d have to give notice which would give you time to find someone or something else.
But try not to make too big a deal out of it, especially if your boyfriend isn’t making it an issue either.
She might be a little insecure and looking for validation that she’s attractive and this is her way of doing it – but it’s not nice for you.
'So fed up of tiresome pal flirting with my husband and always putting me down'
Also, go to his place more or go out more and, if it carries on, maybe you need to rethink where you’re living.