'I'm secretly sleeping with my friend's dad - I want to tell her but he refuses'
A woman has revealed that she has fallen in love with one of her friend's dad after a secret 11 month relationship - but she's been warned about some major red flags.
Age-gap romances often raise eyebrows. But this instance is all the more shocking given that the woman has known her partner since she was a child - they started dating less than a year ago, once she finished school.
And while she is keen to go public with their relationship, he is holding back. Writing into the Metro's sex column, the woman shared: "He has always wanted to keep our affair secret, but I feel ready now to be open about it, and it's this that seems to have caused the rift. He is saying we can't get too involved as there's 20 years between us, but I already am involved so it's a bit late for that."
She further revealed that her partner is worried about other people judging them - but, she claimed, since he is divorced they are not doing anything wrong.
"I think people should mind their own business as we are both adults and I love him," she wrote. "I was a virgin until I had sex with him, so what we have together is very special to me. He has taught me so much, not just about sex but about life in general, and boys of my own age seem like silly little children in comparison."
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She concluded by revealing that her friend lives with her mum and has no idea about the romance. And while she believes her mate would initially be shocked, she thinks she would eventually get used to the idea.
In response, counsellor and columnist Laura Collins urged the woman to take action, noting that it's clear the man doesn't feel the same way.
Emphasising that it's not the age difference itself that's the problem, she said she fears that the woman's innocence had made her fall for a guy who isn't going to make her happy.
"No doubt he has the superficial charm and confidence of an older man, and perhaps your sexual experiences have been wonderful, but dare I say something feels a bit creepy about him. Lots of little girls grow into beautiful women but surely most men would be responsible enough to steer clear of their daughter's friends when they are barely out of school."
Laura also suggested that attracting a younger woman might have been an ego-trip for the man, but now that the novelty has worn off, he's trying to ease out. And his worry over being judged is likely because he's more concerned about his own image and reputation, rather than hers.
"Many age-gap couples go on to have wonderful lives together, but it feels like this man is going to break your heart very soon," she concluded. "Don't wait for that to happen; you must summon up the courage to walk away now."
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