07 February 2024 , 10:37
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Tom Hollander's weekend routine has gone viral after Gregg Wallace was savaged by fans for sharing his and the White Lotus star's activity list is a shocker.
The actor, 56, very intimately detailed his typical Saturday back in 2020 and left readers in hysterics after he revealed it involves masturbation. His column has since resurfaced after TV chef Gregg also shared a look into his Saturday which included hours playing video games, being let into a gym before it opens and having breakfast in Harvester.
Social media users started to re-share Tom's piece as one said: "If you feel the need to decompress after reading the Day in the Life of Gregg Wallace, may I remind you of this masterpiece by Tom Hollander. Entertaining for completely opposite reasons." Tom wrote that he gets up at 3 or 4 am "not because I’m like Margaret Thatcher, but because I need to pee."
Gregg left readers speechless with his Saturday routine (Gregg Wallace/Instagram)
Tom gave a look into his weekend plans back in 2020 (Variety via Getty Images)Writing for The Sunday Times' weekly column, he went on: "I pee in the darkness using my phone screen to illuminate the target, then often take half a sleeping pill (antihistamine), turn on the World Service very quietly and try to go to sleep." Tom then discussed holding his girlfriend in different positions, or the pillow if she isn't there.
He then examines his bald patch, weighs himself and pulls his stomach in before enjoying some intimate one-on-one time. Tom penned: "The afternoon is time for hobbies and extracurricular activities. If it’s sunny I might go for a cycle ride down the canal, if it’s raining I might masturbate and doze, or speculate on the extraordinary injustice of Philip Green’s knighthood, or look at that app that tells you which celebrity you most resemble (Tom Hardy)."
MasterChef's Gregg Wallace dramatically different new career to 'transform UK'
The actor said he sometimes reads long-form articles about the "collapse of western society and the destruction of the planet". His piece went viral on social media as one user said: "Read that as if he was still in character from The Thick of It." Another added: "The repetition of the ‘holding each other in different shapes’ made me cry. I have no idea why…." Someone else commented: "I knew he was nice, just not this nice."
A fourth gushed: "A whole novel in one page. Brilliant, brilliant writing." Yet one commented: "Tom Hollander, a legendary ‘day in the life of,’ to cheer us up from the insufferable Gregg Wallace…" As another echoed: "Bet old Gregg Wallace wishes he’d read Tom Hollander’s Day in the Life before he rashly dashed off and submitted his own one for publication," and someone else said: "Tom Hollander gets the joke. Gregg Wallace certainly does not."
MasterChef host Gregg stunned readers with his Saturday routine as he told fans he gets up at 5am. The chef then made himself a cup of coffee while checking the numbers for his own health programme sign-up. Gregg disclosed he managed to persuade gym staff to open half an hour early for him to enjoy a private swim and sauna every weekend where he works on his 50,000 steps a week goal. However, he insisted there is "no sweating" and has "less than 18 per cent body fat and a six-pack".
He had breakfast with his PA at a local Harvester and has "never been disappointed" by their food unlike some three-star Michelin restaurants in Europe. Lunch came just an hour and a half after his breakfast, with wife Anna having food on the table for him when he got home at midday. Gregg, who is a dad to Tom, 29, Libby, 26, and Sid, 4, wrote: "I’m a much better father now I’m older, although another child isn’t something that I would have chosen at my age. I was always very honest with Anna, but it’s what she wanted and I love her.
"I just requested two things – that we had help in the house (so her mum moved in), and secondly that we had at least one week a year when we holidayed just the two of us." After just an hour and a half of time with Sid, Gregg has me-time. He revealed he is an "amateur historian" and fan of video games.