'I regret having kids as I miss my old life so much - I wish people warned me'
Whether or not to have children is one of the biggest decisions you'll make in your lifetime. Some people can't wait to have kids and start a family of their own, but others decide not to.
One woman admitted she is "full of regret" at ever having children because she misses her "old life so much". The anonymous woman, who shared her thoughts on Mumsnet's parenting forum, is a mum-of-two, and she "adores them 80% of the time when there's no tantrums".
Despite loving them, the woman says she misses the "freedom of just every single thing that comes without having children".
She doesn't find parenting particularly 'rewarding' (stock image) (Getty Images)She continued in the forum post: "I miss my DH [dear husband] and how we used to be/how our relationship was then. I miss lazy weekends, not having to get up. And the travel I used to do. This is probably the biggest thing.
"Yes I know I can still do things, and we do. But I mean that I miss the freedom and luxury of not having to think all the details/about everyone else. Everything is so much more of an effort, and I just basically really wish I'd stayed without children."
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The mum said she doesn't find parenting "particularly rewarding, even when they do something pretty amazing", adding "it's cute but I don't get any joy from it per se".
She knows it's not something that can be "fixed", but just wanted a "safe space to voice my feelings because I can't really say this out loud in real life".
The woman continued: "I know this makes me a s****y human, but I can't help the feelings and sorrow I feel. I'm probably a bit depressed, but I know even if I am/even if I sort it I will always feel this way. Why didn't someone just me aside and tell me not to have them? I may well have listened!"
In the comment section, many readers offers their sympathy, with one person saying: "You've not mentioned the ages of your kids but I’d bet they are young. These feelings fade with time as gradually things get easier and you also gradually forget what life was like pre kids."
Others felt the same way, with one person saying: "Wanted to say you really are far from alone. I don't have a crap husband, I have family support, I have a high income and it's just bloody hard a lot of the time. With two, most of your world is going to be kids and work and for some of us, that isn't enough. I wish more people would be honest about this."
However, others offered more harsh comments, with one person saying: "In the nicest possible way…. Grow up. It's obvious children change things. We get so used to having things our own way it is a shock when kids come along but you had them, they're here, it gets better as they get older and you need to deal with it."
If you need support, you're not alone. You can speak to a parenting coach about day-to-day family life on Action For Children's online chat. If you're struggling with your mental health you can speak to your GP, call Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
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