02 December 2023 , 17:27
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Jeff Brazier has put his sons' grief first every day since their mum Jade Goody tragically died in 2009, and Christmas Day is no different.
Big Brother star Jade pulled out all the stops to make December 25 the most magical day for her boys, Bobby and Freddie, and Jeff remembers feeling in awe of her. "She was the best at Christmas. She went as far as putting out mince pies, festive characters and footprints on the floor," he told The Mirror. "It was long before Elf on the Shelf was invented and I'd never seen anyone go to such lengths to make Christmas Day as special as she did."
When Jade was gone, everything changed for Bobby, then five, and Freddie, four, and Christmas became a much sadder and darker time. "I always wanted it to be a day they enjoyed, like any parent would, but then I quickly realised on the first Christmas that I'd made a mistake hoping we could get through the day without feeling sad or overwhelmed," he said. "I learned that it wasn't possible for Christmas to be the same anymore."
Jade would go to 'such lengths' to make Christmas Day special, with mince pies and footprints on the floor (Dave M. Benett/Getty Images)
Now Jeff, Bobby and Freddie go for an ice-cold dip in the sea and reflect on their late mum in the morning (Instagram/jeffbrazier)Jeff, then 30, sacrificed the family's usual Christmas Day traditions to dedicate the morning entirely to their late mum. "I learnt to make the morning all about their mum. So we would release balloons or do something special - and that's actually where our swimming in the sea tradition comes from. We would often go to a beach and just reflect. When you make the morning about mum, it gives you permission to enjoy the rest of the day and helps you recognise what's missing," Jeff explained.
This year marks the 15th Christmas since Jade's untimely death, and they will spend it on a tranquil beach somewhere in the UK, running into ice-cold water together for their annual swim. "We have a tradition of travelling in the campervan to a beautiful coastline and going for a dip in the morning. We'll find somewhere really pretty near wherever we are to have our Christmas dinner. We're all looking forward to heading off on Christmas Eve," Jeff, now 44, said.
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When Jade died of cervical cancer aged 27, her final wish was that her sons would be looked after, and she left a £3million trust fund to pay for their private schooling. "One of her biggest wishes was for her kids to be healthy and happy," Jeff explained. "So the fact that 15 years on, they're all in one piece, I think I've fulfilled her wish." Jeff made sure to protect Bobby and Freddie from the media frenzy during their early years of grief, and said it was the "most natural decision" he could have made to keep them out of the public eye. Bobby, now 20, has naturally found his way back into the spotlight as a model and actor, joining the cast of EastEnders and competing in this year's Strictly Come Dancing, and watching him grow makes Jeff beam with pride.
Jeff praised Bobby for being a 'shining light' and said his mum would've been the proudest person in the world watching him on EastEnders and Strictly (Channel 4)"It all came together reasonably early in his young adult life and as a result, he's gone on to do things that make us all proud," Jeff said. "We know what he's faced and endured, and the fact that he is still such a shining light is amazing. He's making everybody proud and obviously, the most proud person in the world would've been his mum." Last Saturday, Bobby and his professional dance partner Dianne Buswell performed an emotional routine in tribute to his 'superhero' mum for Couple's Choice week. It was a decision that Jeff had no involvement in and praises Bobby for having the courage to do so.
"Grief is a very personal experience and I've always made sure they grieve in a way that's natural. I don't push things onto them or set any expectations. The routine came about because it was what Bobby wanted to do. He felt ready to do it," Jeff explained. "He's been on the show for a little while so no doubt felt comfortable with everyone around. It would have required some trust in the people making the VT. He was sharing his vulnerability and loss with the nation effectively, so he would've wanted it to be represented in a way that felt right."
Praising the Strictly team behind the cameras, Jeff said: "I think that's a credit to production for being so wonderful. It's like one big family and I know they've made him feel really comfortable, so I think that's why it happened. Otherwise, he might not have done it because he doesn't like to speak publicly about particularly personal things."
For Jeff, it's hugely important as a dad and a public figure to open up about his emotions and mental health. "I speak openly about having psychotherapy for seven years and I think that's helped me to be the guest and dad that's willing to go on national television and cry, and not feel like I need to bottle it up or wipe it away," he explained. "As a man these days, being able to show vulnerability is so important. It's really strong of someone to be able to show their emotions and not suppress them."
Jeff said his youngest son Freddie is always looking after the people around him and making sure everybody else is having a good time (PinPep)While Bobby has fallen into the limelight and shared his grief publicly with the country, Jeff's youngest son Freddie has stayed largely private. Although, he recently joined Jeff to promote his campaign with Natwest, aiming to raise awareness of common financial scams at Christmas. "He hasn't really got a clue at minute what he wants to do, but that's fine," Jeff said. "I don't think there's a massive rush for him to work out what he's going to dedicate the rest of his life to, so this is just an opportunity that came up for him."
"What Freddie is an absolute professional at is just being lovely and endearing. He spoke to everyone who was there on the production team and ensured that everybody had a really good time," Jeff continued. "Freddie always takes it upon himself to look after everyone else naturally. So I think he really showed his gifts on the day we filmed this important video, that is going to help stimulate people to have conversations about scamming around Christmas time."
Getting the nation talking is what Jeff does best, having written The Grief Survival Guide and trained as a life coach and wellbeing ambassador. "Getting scammed can be a huge trigger for people's mental health as well," he said. "It's such an important conversation for so many reasons - it's not just about losing money. NatWest has found that 25 percent of people who have been scammed didn't admit it to their loved ones, so there's an element of shame and embarrassment. We want to do something about it."
Jeff Brazier and son Freddie appear in a new Christmas-ad style video to launch a board game by Natwest aimed at raising awareness of common scams. 'All Mod Cons' will be available to play in select branches from December 1 so visit the website to see if your local branch is taking part.