20 November 2023 , 11:48
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Children can be unpredictable, and go through phases of loving certain toys, films, even people, before getting tired and casting them aside.This was exactly the case for one parent, who was left devastated after his daughter shied away from him and said the four cutting words no parent wants to hear - “I don’t like you.”
Taking to Reddit for advice from fellow parents, the dad – who goes under the name HannahIsAGhuleh – wrote: “We upgraded my kiddo to a big kid bed a little over a month ago and ever since then, it's been all mama at bed time, over night if she needs it, and in the morning. She will literally scamper away shrieking if I try and comfort her. All other times of the day she's fine.
"But these times are all mama. This morning my wife got me up cause we could hear her yelling in her room. I get up knowing full well how it'll go. I open the door and as soon as she sees me it's immediately ‘Go back to bed daddy I want mummy’.
"With mums help I get her downstairs in a well enough mood and mum returns to bed. The next 45 minutes are full of ‘I wanna go get mummy, I don't want you’, but what got me was this morning was the first time she said ‘I don't like you’ and man it really got me.
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“I know it's a phase. I know she doesn't mean it. But s**t man it sucks. It sucks all around. I hope this passes soon cause it's killing me.” However, this Redditer is not alone, as many parents replied to empathize with the father. One commented: “This is what I did with my daughter. When it was my turn to put her to bed she would sometimes scream her little head off, and flip out. I would sit against the door so she couldn't escape, and do my absolute best to remain calm.
"Tell her things like ‘I understand. I know your frustrated but tonight you have me. It's OK to cry. But not OK to hit or throw things.’ After a while she would calm down and let me put her to bed. She eventually grew out of it, but occasionally will still throw a fit, she is five now. The hardest part is not giving in and letting mum come in.”
A second sympathized: “I know exactly what you’re going through. And I don’t have a fix, it’s just biologically what kids desire. What does help is having daddy-daughter days and your wife leaving the house for bedtime or and overnight so your daughter is forced to accept you. Once that barrier is broken and she sees you comfort her just like mummy, she’ll slowly accept you more and more.”
Another reassured the Redditer: “So many people forget that they are preprogrammed to see which boundaries they can push at that age, and allowing them to push unreasonable boundaries just creates more unreasonableness … It's still important to explain as much as possible what and why.”
While a separate Reddit user advised: “Might not work for you but my reaction would probably be to sit down in the room and tell her "No I'm here, you get me" and let her yell it out. The more a three-year-old determines the boundaries the more she will try to get away with. Don't make threats to take away things that you won't back up, don't hit, stick to your guns, and do not break your word.”