14 October 2023 , 17:20
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Strictly star Annabel Croft has opened up about the struggles she faced before her Strictly Come Dancing debut and her devastation at her late husband's death. The 57-year-old former tennis ace revealed she felt lost without her husband Mel Coleman and was left feeling upset and nervous before last week's performance on the hit BBC show with professional partner Johannes Radebe.
Speaking about , Annabel said: "I just sat and cried. Mel was my biggest supporter, my protector. He gave me confidence. He made things right, always had done. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to say: 'I am really nervous for tomorrow, but I don't have you to make it okay'."
She was married to Mel, who died of cancer in May aged just 60, for 36 years. He had been diagnosed with the disease just 16 weeks before passing away. More heartbreakingly, Annabel said she was unable to bid farewell to her husband, recalling his final moments.
Annabel said she didn't really get the chance to say goodbye to her husband (EXPRESS NEWSPAPERS)
Mel's died just 16 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. (Getty Images)She told the Daily Mail: "It happened so quickly. He was drifting in and out of consciousness. And then we . . . watched him die. He took his last breath. Have you ever watched someone die? It is so traumatic. I was traumatised. I am still traumatised, but at the same time I cannot believe he is gone."
The former tennis champion also opened up about the heartbreak of losing Mel and shared that there have been some tough moments to deal with. She said: "We used to hold hands in bed, chatting and now I look to his side and I say: 'Where are you?'. The grief comes in waves, often when you are least expecting it. I'll be driving and feel this jolt. It is physical pain, visceral.
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Annabel said she was left feeling upset and nervous before last week's performance with professional partner Johannes Radebe. (Daily Mirror)
The former tennis champion shared that there have been some tough moments to deal with. (BBC/Guy Levy)"I wander round the house, expecting to see him in this chair or that sofa. We did everything together. Every piece of furniture, every painting, we picked it together. Now, I look at the things in our house. They are very nice, but what is the point?"
The former tennis star said that from the moment he received his diagnosis, she was meant to be her husband's rock, but instead, he had to comfort her after they received the difficult news. She said that despite Mel being the one who had been "told he was going to die" it was him comforting her as Annabel found it difficult to process what she had just been told.
She admits that she hasn't been able to collect her husband's ashes from the crematorium because she is still adjusting to life as a widow, and while that may be comforting to some people, she admits that her grief has meant that Mel's passing has not yet taken hold.