06 October 2023 , 16:58
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It is the most beautiful but horrible thing watching your son (or daughter) play football.
Whether they are five or 25, all mums and dads know that you kick every ball, go up for every header, and on match days I can’t even eat… and I’m not the one playing. I’ve been thinking about the agony you go through, and lessons you learn, as a sporting parent this week after my son Charlie was called up to the Wales senior squad for the first time.
I played for Wales 39 times. I scored twice and retired from internationals in 2005. Now 18 years on, Charlie has earned himself a chance of a cap, and if he gets on, I can’t recall a father and son who’ve done that.
It’s one of my proudest moments, even more so when I see him singing the anthem. But not because I’ve been a pushy, shouty parent demanding he does this or that with his career.
It’s because of his own hard work and taking a risk leaving Manchester United U21s, to play first team football amid the uncertainty at Reading. My role, and his mums, has been to drive him around, facilitate his dream, and when he gets back in the car, just to ask: Did you enjoy that?
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As a parent or coach, I have seen it all. From the verbal abuse, physical threats and me being threatened to be stabbed. People think they can because it is me.
I have witnessed a young man at U14 level being sworn at by his parents because he didn’t have the best game. He looked petrified. I’ve witnessed a manager being punched in the face because he didn’t play their son in the game.
Charlie left Manchester United for Reading in the summer (Getty Images)What starting XI should Wales name against Gibraltar? Share your suggestions in the comments below
I have always said about both my sons - the youngest Freddy is at Macclesfield - if the lads want to ask a question and use my experience, they can. I will never get in the car and say you should have done this and that.
It is such a difficult feeling watching your sons play, especially Charlie at a level where it really matters to a community. All I say to Charlie, if he asks, is: enjoy it. Play your position. Work hard. Do that over a season and you will get the rewards. I will never swear or use abusive language to him.
With Charlie there has been high and lows. Being left out of teams, being told you are not strong enough, or quick enough, bouncing back. One report on him, someone told me, said not strong enough, all right foot and can’t pass it. The best thing he can do is pass the ball. Sometimes it beggars belief what people see.
He hopefully has 15 years to go in his career. I say if you can do that for 15 years and get paid for what you love it is the best life in the world. As long as you appreciate every moment, good and bad. Like when he scored against Bolton… or playing Northampton the other night, losing and not your best performance, just stay level.
To get called up, and see people show belief in him is great. I had to leave Man United for Crewe before building back up. Same for Charlie.
I did commentary at Man United when he came on in the Champions League. That was a moment! To be there when he gets a first senior cap would be amazing. The moral is U21 football does not make a player. If he was still at Man United I don’t believe this opportunity would come around.
Robbie Savage will be keeping a close eye out for his son Charlie's Wales debut (Getty Images)
Charlie has earned his debut Reading call-up following his early displays for Reading (Getty Images)He wants to improve and really cares. Not many youngsters would have taken the gamble with two years and an option left at Man United, to go to an uncertain situation. But out of that uncertain situation he’s got an opportunity.
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Lots of people have said sons of footballers get better opportunities and have more of a chance, because fathers can influence and know people. It is nonsense.
I’d say it is harder. The expectation on them is greater. They have to do more because the spotlight is on them. People turn up to watch and say which one is he, and they expect him to be good.
There are people out there who might want Charlie to fail. He’s been abused because he is my son, only there because of his dad, all these things he has faced in his career so far, it will be a proud moment when I see him singing the national anthem at Wrexham where I was brought up.
He has earned his own opportunities. I have only been there, wind, rain, whatever, kicking every ball.